whoa 21 days since the last post.

and so I continue.

stayed back after church today, for music ministry auditions. I dont see what there is to be nervous about, really. being nervous yourself makes other people nervous for no reason, thus losing confidence and the courage that you gathered up to actually join.

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I've really been going crazy. its like I'm breaking down my own barriers, hammering on the walls from the inside. normally it ain't like that. gee I wonder why. it's like some simmering cauldron on slow boiling, or like some volcano that hasnt erupted for a century but is suddenly spewing stuff. oh well, but it's got to come out somewhere, unless, of course, the fire is turned down, or the lava flows back underground again. not like some people, who might explode in extreme circumstances like the Vesuvius or something.

and I've been doing things that you'd never imagine me doing. it's not extreme, but it's not normal in my books either. I wanted to be different, but I guess I'm not so different anymore.

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anyway, this very sarcastically smart girl called kezia tan slammed her chem book on my desk on friday, and broke my 3-year-old keychain. I liked that keychain okay! it had my awesome name on it, and p6 teacher gave it. the whole thing broke into 3 pieces. it had better come back on monday fixed. but I guess no amount of glue's gonna make it whole again.

who could have thought that polynomials could smash my brain cells to mashed potato? I dont get it. the moment the question changes the situation, I get all mixed up again. grarrr. ms chen's gonna come after me again, I dont think she'd give me another extension of deadline even if I didnt know how to do the question. I hate having marks taken off for not knowing how to do the question. Just doesn't make any sense at all.

and yes, I failed the first chinese test of the year. excellent work. better find some way to improve it before o'levels... it's crappy! I never thought I'd deteriorate until barely passing.

eternal-flame blogged at 2:43 PM