a stunningly stupid revelation hit me today.
and made me realise how selfish I am.

for one, I'm split into two. there's the girly girl, and theres the daring one.
the girly girl is the one who says "shopping? sure!" and the one who spends more than 10mins deciding what to wear on a weekend.
the daring one is the one who says "ew, more shopping? I dont need that many clothes" and the one who throws on t-shirt and jeans and sneakers.
the girly one leans towards squealing at everything that happens, the one who lurks at the back of the group hoping that someone would talk to her.
the daring one whacks up the person who dares to startle her, she's the one who doesnt care if people talk to her or not. the one who takes it easy, the one who couldnt give a damn about fashion trends.
which one?
I dont want to follow the girly sort, yet the xx-chromosomes in me decide that I need to be more "feminine".
I dont want to be too daring, cause I'd go back to my whacking days. like I did in sec1.
I dont want to become one of those cookie-cutter girls reading seventeen magazine and wearing stripes or checkered clothes.
but yet I dont want to lose the respect of others in the name of individuality.


so in the midst of all this, and this verse suddenly hit me. and it's been echoing inside my head.
Matthew 6:31-34 reads:
' so do not worry, saying "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. '

just struck me that I should not be making a big deal out of this split self thing. because I shouldnt be dwelling on what clothes to wear, how I portray myself. cause that's not the main goal. thinking about it somemore, just realised how every time I reflect on something like this, it's always about me. why cant it be about someone else, or the general population? like you'd want the whole world to know about your life, and that would be the girly side.

the daring one would take this as a chance to vent. and get rid of the superficial thoughts.

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and I dont exactly want to elaborate. but interpret what you will. just dont misinterpret.

eternal-flame blogged at 10:27 PM